going insane for you

I can not stop thinking about you

I am possessive by the wild dreaming of you

almost every day

now, it passes eight o'clock,

and my attempt to run away from the thought of you until now, had no success

so I remain

aching in desire

burning in scenarios 

I can not get any closer without my whole system crashing down 

I feel like I am thirteen years old again

I do not want to ruin our friendship 

but the little signals you give me 

drives me mad

by trying to make sense of it all without my brain being too rational 

and my heart, too insecure 

while you are shy on these matters 

suddenly we seem to be in the same boat 

suddenly I am not the confident woman I thought I was 

suddenly I want to grab you by the waist

or your chin 

look deep into your eyes

and kiss you with my wholeness 

with a huge part of the desire 

that hovers in the air between us 

this wishful thinking does not meet terra firma 

I find myself stuck in the mud I created

it is definitely not difficult to act,

to have the initiative to make these awaken dreams come true

after all I crave this with every single part of me

still, I can not somehow 

I do not know what is happening to me

I just

know

I am

going

insane 

for you