yearning for calmness

 an empty page in front of me

while the mind is overflowing, travelling around non-stop

and the heart in somekind of undying reflection

about my own feelings

and the feelings of the ones I care beyond me

just when I think I have some blockage

to put out what I so desperately need

I realize it is not indeed a blockage

but all of me upside down,

yelling inside yearning for calmness

sometimes I am too stuck in thoughts, manners, feels

coming and going

trying to understand

what has passed, the now and the way ahead

and breathe in the present

All too together to have room to truly live

sometimes almost always

life is difficult to swallow

seems like nothing really helps

in one moment: floating on the surface

out of nowhere: being pulled down

how to foresee, how to calculate?

before it all gets worse

before I go down the drain again

this world is too chaotic for me

my own world has instants of madness and harmony

where is the balance of it all?

seems like we live inside a bottle

when someone shake it heavily before use

and the mixation becomes chaos

combining with the planet so destroyed

when to rest, where to run, why so wild?

spinning in circles inside this bottle,

inside this head

in a distant view of the future,

darling, we are all damned.