Restless Sea

I wish I could really control my feelings

like turning the key into a good drive

not ignoring or sweeping it under the rug

like your favorite thing to do

I wish I could not desire you

it would be easier

to somatize instead of leaving in the blank

without an answer

because life is hard

we both know it

even if I try to make it smoother 

it does not depends only on me

but on people along the way

like you that came into my days

intensely and all of a sudden

the long confortable conversations

the deep dive in each other eyes

so clear of what it means inside of us

wide and wild

yet so unstable, untrustworthy, unsafe

never knowing if will land or leave

but when stays, the best times lays

right next to each other hearts

damn it

I still like you, I still want you

even if it comes with this restless sea

open up to yourself and my anxiety:

do you want me too?

and if you do 

would you change and fight for this reality?