Savor and Yearn

So many years

Since I can remember 

Receiving way less than I deserve

That I got used to it

Asking for the obvious

Accepting misery for feelings

Without noticing as I should

Never taking for granted

But holding dearly

And attaching more importance

To some ones than they are actually worthy of

A saviour distorted view

A chaotic romantic caring

Leading to anguish and loneliness most of the times

Here and there forgetting my value in the process

Nevertheless,

I am always learning something

As well as embracing tightly what will never be mine

Just closer enough to feel the illusion as if it is true

As if I could really deliver my trust

In a silver platter

Not as if it were an inconsistent ground

Although it shows piecemeal to me

Little by little

As the voice of intuition whispers

Until it makes me shivers 

And I consciously deny it for a while

So my heart floods

My eyes pours

And I find myself falling again

In a spiriling cycle of wishing, wanting and loving

Without solid return

Someday I will learn it for once

For now, is acknowledgement 

Savor and yearn

Yet in a full moon of feelings

To overbrim until there is nothing left

Or until I embrace myself and realize what I really need inside