my mind

I keep making idealistic scenarios

Inside my mind

Does not matter the time of the day

It is easy for me to runaway

From the somehow chaotic momentos

Still feeling both together

An escape so dearly

I learned in my years early

Making a routine out of it in my teens

When I could only protect myself

Within these scenarios like shells

Dreaming awake with a better life

Although at times it leaves me frozen

I know it is already inherent

It is never ending

A form of expressing

my utopias and obsessions

I can not deny

Does not matter how I try

This existence in this world

Is too much too handle

To live is to hide

And we need to be our own guide 

Because trusting will always be

An unsteady terrain 

And another one 

of so many scenarios so illusory 

I thank for being here despite of all

A friend told me I am too strong, like a wall

Even though thinking I open up too much

No one really knows the seaquake so constant

That happens in my head 

That pierces through my heart

That mar, dissolve, reflect

And like the clichê of the Phoenix,

Rise and renew 

Yet in melancholy

That dived in duality

Learn from everything, but

attached to that form of escaping,

Reenter the shell to sense some comfort 

In the middle of a hurricane of changes 

Loving and hating it at the same time

Maybe I am that strong indeed

Because I keep on celebrating being alive

Even though some times only surviving

And I keep on making idealistic scenarios

Inside my mind

For everyone needs a balance

in order to carry on delusionaly sane.