The Return of My Saturn in Aquarius

when I think I know it all 

the return of Saturn in Aquarius comes to show me

that I know just some aspects of some things

that I need to learn so much more

that I should dive in myself

to get out of this bubble that I never thought I was in so deep

a real wake up call 

making noise to getting in

and shake it all inside

for me to see what is beneath this all

and watch by another angle

it makes me curious

it makes me anxious

ir makes me ludicrous

it makes me realize how much I need to uncover 

because while so wided mind

I am also so naive, so passionated 

these words were written 

in the time of the return of my saturn

what I can say is that the rollercoaster was definitely wild

not close to what I expected

in the levels of wilderness 

it seems the machine was far more broken

I saw it melt by the sidewalk without sunlight

and the mirror revealing a see-through glass

for the world around and my inner own

I can not say that I learned enough

this is one thing I am certain of:

I never knew it all

and I never will know all my answers

there will be times it is going to be necessary

to end without closure

to let go of the bone

while is possible

while it did not wreak havoc on everything

this is only one of the learnings from the present

it makes me curious to think about the next years

it makes me anxious to feel all the updated fears 

it makes me ludicrous inside my insecurities

it makes me realize how long I need to live still

because even though so grown up

it does not mean I am not fucked up in my thrills 

I, myself, drive me insane, alone

with a slightly intensity tendency

the outside is another kind of lunatic influency 

it makes me a magnet, a target, a puppet

my own havoc and harmony entwined