Where Is My Compass?

oh if I only knew what the future have for me
Outside the cards I mean
More exactly
something to make me to keep holding on everyday
I know that destiny we make everyday
by roads we ourselves choose
still I do not know which direction
I have no hand to hold now
Only words to listen
and try to change
the urge in me of screaming and disappearing
forever.

This depression hits me like a tsunami never seen before
I do not know anything now
I feel like being in the dark
nothing to see
only words to hear
memories on my head
shaking my mind
increasing my heart
I just need a hand to hold now
I wish this one could be yours
but you are too far away even too close
and this kills the left parts of me

the breathing, the sigh, the sad moan, I do not want this kind.
Take me away from here.
I do not want to say I am sorry and thank you.
If I do, I will disappear.
Deliver myself to the elder.
You were my compass

where is my compass now? (to pass through)
where is myself? (and be well still)
where is my will, desire? (to stay and belong to me)
I only love you.

The heat goes all over my body
the fear of feeling alone without you
what a good spirit
but not the perfect moment (even with all the sweetest memories).

oh dear, oh heart,
to embrace you and all my longing days
would be comforting again
where is my compass?