that kind of dreamt freedom

looking back to analize

I lived in ruins that tried to be a structured building

when there was no way for this to happen

sometimes you have got to destroy everything

to make something become anything better 

I learned to cry without a sound

and this helped me so even though

there was nothing I did back then

that could save me 

I had to hold on

to take this tool 

to take these lessons

doomed was all I thought I was in that moment

and to be on and on

emotions always made a part of me

and they never understood

nor themselves 

until today

self conscience must be the first rule

and after, respect 

but the blindness and the mania of accomodation left no room 

the spilled blood I got used to

to aliviate that burden always growing 

I could see a future

all though I was not the only one to build it 

still the charge was all over me

to be someone I could never be

to plant the seed of the love I never felt 

until today 

now, the burden is another

but such a tiny one comparing 

I feel the freedom that for those long years I dreamt heavily about 

and they could never understand

to live in coma and call it real life

they could never

see through 

anything what it really is 

nor a part of themselves 

much less my head or my heart 

that inner comprehension phase was never completed

to move on