Sanity - The Colours of Those Auras - Incentive

Where did I left my sanity?
(there is no place for it)
Where did I left my soul - that is not mine?
(kept over seven keys)
Why did I left my paradise?
Why did I made so many mistakes?
For I regret of all,
Because I lost everything what belonged to me once.
I lost myself inside this chaos
I lost the succeed future I could be already reaching.
I could be already living, and smiling, and away from here.
Insanity within me screams,
Not to get out, but to
Live more and more mad adventures, the safe choices,
Where I would be finally dry of tears, anguish and sorrow.
Where I could be looking for a better tomorrow.
So many shits I did, how can I still be carrying on?
Are not these many causes already to disappear, without leaving a trace?
I waited so long for an answer, that I am tired of this too now.

I cannot understand the people, the world around me.
The colors of those auras.
The time and life wasted for nothing at all.
The things they make humans do,
The freedom they do not release,
Their eyes.
Must have no soul, inside those dead eyes, seeing no future,
Only the unstructured present,
Leaving a total forgotten past. Leaving us all behind.
Mistakes, equivocated choices, childish mind of mine
In the back that I still see, I still feel within me,
That I left, I left behind,
Because I cannot come back to fix anything what stayed.
But now, I do very thought choices
- sometimes too thought -
Follow the right ways, wisely steps being taken.
I wish I could help
All the people I see thrown on the street,
All my family, every friend of mine.
I wish I could be some kind of Hercules,
To save everyone who is sinking, diving, forgetting the self
- like I did once and now I live & learn the consequences.
I wish I could be someone better.
But I can only be this girl right here:
Broken, thoughtful, daydreamer. And fearing. Almost everything.

Does someone have in mind to save me? I have no pride.
Only too many books written inside this mind.
I do not want to disturb anyone, only be the joy of their days.
Even though I guess it is too much to be real.
I need incentive. I need adventures outside. I need love.