Blank Black Hole.

Do you know
what I wish for you?
just nothing.
at all.
You already have paid
for the greatest karmas of
leaving me all by myself
when I most needed someone that close.

Still, we were never so close.
You was always pushing me away.
The stupid intensity of your thoughtless actions.
The cloud nine there was not, never, in you.

Nirvana?
You will never get into this kind of state. Not even near.
You are nothing to me.
And I do not mind anymore about you.

I just thank you for one thing:
I had to go through all of that
downfall, storms, hurricanes,
eating disorder, sleepless nights, hopeless days
to see the real me. Who I really am.
To see that I deserve so fucking much more.
That I, indeed, love myself.
This love is genuine and real. This.

I guess yours was just
a mix of needy peppers and hollow eggs,
with a dash of very troubled oregano.
This was you. This and nothing more.
You said I would not have anyone
to be with after the ending, in time.
Well, I guess something made it reverse itself,
is not it?

You was once a darling,
first I did really love,
a kind of bittersweet.
Now, all that is left of you in my heart is
a shallow, even more bitter than bitter, death
of feeling.
and this death,
I love.

The memories are all kept inside a chest, that is not mine,
and it feels highly good that
I do not have the will to look at it one more time.
Oh Goddess, I feel good.

I have clear conscience, yet,
as my friend, yes I would laugh too
only distant
as you created me then.

you have still the tiny little karmas to pay
and they are not as tiny as you think.
They grow fast as fuck for anything you do
and they come faster
and enter your skin
your blood
your head
deeper

and harder
so damnly sweeter when I think of
the taste it has to me,
the audition.
Blow the champagne we shall do,
when the wave arise.
the horizon is almost infinite.
You will never know from where it came.

As the Crow of Battle,
I will watch it all from afar
calculate the righteous hour to take
to the highest tree only the head
ripped off by the sword of destiny
To pull your eyes out, still bleeding
and eat it
leaving the heartless rest to rot in vain.

Two in one
this is what we have become
because of you, lonesomes.

What one day was bittersweet
today is bitter than the remedy
for my sane insanity.

a blank black hole.
this is what you are absolutely in my life after the downfall.