the lessons of men.

like Kaur said

I should not beg my father for a relationship

yet I did

so many times 

when he did not know how to do that

instead he brought me fear 

from the head to my toes

when I tried to argue peacefully with him

because he could not

ever 

be wrong

and what this taught me

but lying guilt and the biggest fear of the feelings coming from any man 

falling in the arms of illusion of them

and later, mistrusting every single word whispered 

there is no half way 

these and more - I did not perceive yet

are the lessons from the first man 

and all of the others that passed through my life 

ripping off the wings that once I used to soar