these thoughts

and these thoughts for times I have no control
so out of me, out of reality
but feelings so real
catches me in surreal

I do not know what more to do
to keep them away
to trust make home inside of my head
seems like I am dead 

in these moments 
I love the human I am
but the costume of living with these thoughts 
still catches me in the act
somehow I can not explain is addictive 
the remainings of my past
still lasts 

I am more now than before 
yet I float in a future I do not know how to fulfill 
but I will, I will
oh I will
so
somehow I know I am able, I know I will make it real 
nothing will stand in my way
much less my own mind  

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