words and ears

I wish I had not mistaken with you so much
but those wrongings ended up teaching me how to be better
I do not know if it is something that came with me along the way
or from my childhood
or I built it up myself along the years
at the same time I wish I had not gather you two,
this entwine brought you both the best

I dread those moments

because seemed like I had no control of what I thought I knew

I shivered standing

when the comfortable place I was in began to shake too

as I realized the lies I told and truths I hidden were facing me

I took there the knowledge that I had no certainty of anything

no ground to step on

manly no shoulder to rely on

lost inside and out for the mirror shattering above me

the bigger point of breaking for me I guess was

the instant I saw she was no more the darling friend I met once

and I do not know until today if we were ever intertwined

like I felt we were

i know you never showed me your all

the darknest corners of your mind 

and the whole of your enormous locked heart

but in that second I sensed like I never knew you

I comprehend some

all of the evil, in every aspect you went through,
 I never knew or will on my own skin
the consequences of it, the scars to face,

the traumas in awareness and the ones playing hide-and-seek 

every day since 

I know I had mistaken with her too
but she did worse on me
trust is the anchor
without it the ship is taken without north

by the ocean and the wind

oh you and I never had the chance to sit down
and talk
stripped, I and you
no fingers pointed
no ego allowed
just words and ears
and understanding
for I found peace on myself
and I want peace for you
for I do not want to fight anymore
nor being on the defensive
I do not want to blow again
we both deserve more than this
to find your safe harbor
to find yourself among the crowd
it is the best sensation you will ever try
that's just why I wish it out loud.
I hope someday our paths cross again
in another state of growing
maybe in absolute bloom.