Goodbye For Now (Maybe Until Another Life)

I wish I could sleep
in this soft bright blue sky high above me
this is the only resemblance of calm right now
I am feeling tired, over with you
and you can not see what you did and keep doing

we are in the same boat here 

not even in the end of this cycle you support me
creating non sense rules
threatening, deceiving, manipulating
I am over and done
but you keep putting me under your possession
this was never love
because you never learn how to
so many disasters in your head and chest
never had care with self 
you are drowning more and more
and I refuse to go on with you on this
you are losing self and me in the process
I wish you could see through it all
for I, stupidly, still care about you
after all this mess you planted in my mind
in our lives
this gaslighting I believed
just for a moment
but enough to screw me up
I know that none of it is my fault
even though is hard to not blame myself
as it is hard to keep surviving under the same roof with you
I am saying goodbye for now, for the sake of my mind
I finally accepted I can not change you
I hope you get well in some other life.