the dear insane anxiety

moments of deep anxiety
leaves me in a battle inside of me
increasing the feeling
of loneliness
the one I was trying to know without getting too involved
but sometimes it is stronger than I
the air is all around
plants purify
a scent of lavender entwine
few by few this rush goes away
filling my lungs slowly
a bleeding heart is found numb
like the clouds hiding the moon in the last nights
it is no kind of despise or something alike
on the contrary
I just can not control so well, this all
and my mind get along in the race
before, and after the trigger
right on my face
plays with my state of weariness
useless is the sensation it brings in these times of hunger
of idleness
the colours seems to fade
and I do not know what to feel first
what to focus on
my hands sweat shows the inner agony
and I am sorry
and I will keep breathing
trying to wake my skin and come back with my soul to the surface
for now there is only an air stealer
in the middle of my chest drags and insists
on possessing all of me and 
it seems that at these times, I am not myself
I do not live here inside,
just her does, the dear insane anxiety