the soil grounded

 I feel a guilt

a bitter taste of that sensation of not being enough

even when I tried everything I could

I feel a weight

I drowned in my own womb

and this did not quench my thrist

nor the looping voices in my head

I held on expectations of mine first

maybe there is a right in the wrongfulness

I have vices, but not in my voice

they are only inside my mind of hopefulness

now I need to let go

I do not want to be disillusioned 

this fear inside another fear lifts me off the soil grounded

now it is time to reap what was sown