Undealed

is not just your lungs turning black
your stomach is too and both will not turn back 
with so much feelings undealed
barely chewed or over brooded 

there is a train of thought 
invading my head through
I am starting to trust
this does not matter to you as much as it matter to me

no, not this again

I have been seeking estability
for so long that I almost
killed my hope by starvation
and maybe now I am seeking in the wrong house
for your wholeness is all about
inconstancy and instability, baby

believing deep inside there will be a huge transformation soon 
when it seems that the soil is undamped and infertile 

damn, not this again
I can not take it no more
I got too near,
gave all I could, all I had
to ended up with me
facing the bones
of it on my own 
again 

sometimes
I feel I am not enough 
but a burden bringing disguised 
so many feelings as baggages 

if you say you care so much
why do not you show it all the time?
I wish I could dissect your mind
to try to understand (you)

in this heart shaped box 
inside your black hole as chest
you survive, you are solitaire
and the same old cycle carries on...

undealed
denied
overflowed

damn, not this again

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