how many time more

these words hurt
why can not you put yourself in my place
instead of only seeing your own
and no moving on
on this
and perceive it
that I am reaching my limit
and I have been through this phase of being addicted
to things that relieves many pains
I am facing each one of them now
to learn how to control my own mind
I have passed this page you read so slowly again and again
if I need to be more organized, ok, I learned
all of these tears should not be here
taking off my direction
I feel not welcoming
and you urge on demonstrating it
and not seeing me as someone who you hurt without a reason
is it not enough all of those times she did it to you?
girl, this should not be like this
but you can not defocus
and we are trying to help you
but there is no use when you feel not like wanting it deeply also
like they said
it is not much of a life you are living
you are only existing
and taking no care of this body and soul loaned to you
please see beyond, through it all
what do you really want without anyone influencing your feelings and decisions?
let me know for I care so much it hurts
I do not want to get in the way
yet I need to move on with my life
and this here
is not being helpful for me to climb another step
same age, totally different phases

do I get out of this mess
or give it one more chance
how many time more do I pass
feeling an intruder?