Smother My Exhaustion.

I want that darling time again
I am feeling exhausted, smothering and in vain
All they do is to drain me
No more effect
while surviving in this game of war
to try to myself purify by the rain
I am a neglect
In the words of their worlds.
Where is my real home?
I can not see how do I belong here
All I am inside this hollowness is lonesome
All I want is to disappear
I can not change them
I desire to rearrange me,
only out of this chaotic house.
The longing, the craving, the inner killing.
It is not the same
Or illusive better, definitely we are not meant to be
It is the worst I have ever lived inside these walls,
Raped open sores,
My mind is getting chaotic as theirs
But I can not settle down to this
I feel the fall,
once longer, it feels forever more.